a beginning

I once read that the difference between writers and non-writers is that writers write. Those of you that know me know that I have always wanted to be a writer. I have said for years that one day I would write books for a living. Here I sit having just had my (our) fourth child, working as an attorney and wondering how so much time has gone by.

I've started writing two books. One began 17 years or so ago. I actually had a draft of a few pages which sat in a box in my parents’ attic while I went away on a mission and to school. When I finally found it again after earning my English degree, I realized the story had potential but the writing was horrible. Childish. Immature. So I began a revision process that resulted in a completely different book than the one I began with all those years ago. The basic story premise is the same, but virtually every word was reworked. It's a spy thriller. To date I actually have a fair amount written, and I think it's very good. The problem is that I don't want to write spy novels. I grew up reading Tolkien and Brooks. My dream was always to write fantasy.

Recently I decided to go back to that. An idea I had been tinkering with finally worked itself out in my head, and I sat down and started writing. It turned into a promising first chapter, though I fear I made it way too grand too fast. I need to find a way to work into where I already am. That being said, I think it has great potential as well. My dilemma now, of course, is which book to work on. While I feel somewhat traitorous to the character in my spy novel (I've been with him for almost 20 years), I can't stop thinking of ideas for the fantasy.

My problem is that I don't outline. I don't know what's going to happen in a story until the plot pours out onto the computer screen through my fingers. Recently my family read a draft of one of the books and eagerly asked what was coming on a climactic section. I told them I had no idea but was as excited as them to find out.

Well, enough for now. Too much, probably.

I just wanted to start writing. Hopefully more will come soon.